My friend that I talked about in my last blog passed away last Wed night. His funeral and burial were this past weekend so I made the trip back home to remember him with our other close friends.
Even though it was hard, the guys and I were asked to play music at both and so we did. We played for our friend, Jonathan, who had been right there with us as we all came together during high school and started our musical endeavors. At the time I had been so nervous to forget the lyrics/mess something up that the emotions didn't truly hit me, but as I look back now I find myself much more emotional. I am having a hard time getting my head wrapped around the fact that he truly passed away. Perhaps its just these emotions coupled with that of past ones from my fathers death, but I seem to be affected emotionally more now than ever.
I can't help but keep seeing Jonathan's family and their pain, and then placing me in their shoes about 7 years ago. Maybe that's what is causing me so much pain, the fact that I am seeing others in pain and know exactly what they are going through. For some reason it hurts more seeing that and looking back on my own past, then it was actually going through the pain at the time. I am sure shock and numbness took away the pain during the majority of the ordeal, but it still feels as if I haven't truly mourned my father's death and now it seems to be affecting me more than ever.
I promise, happier blogs in the future. I just decided to start this because of these things on my mind.
Happier roads to come!
Cole
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